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Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.