Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks, “why don’t you eat all the food?”
At church they said the number of the beast is 666, but I stood up and said that`s not my wifes phone number.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
(Facebook Diamond encrusted Platinum Account required to view this status update)
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.