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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!