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It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
Trail mix is just a reminder of how much better it would`ve been if I just ate a bag of M&M`s!
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
This year for Lent I`m giving up hanging out with all the people who gave up drinking for Lent.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Remind me why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor?
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?