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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...