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Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!