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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.