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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Targeted ads are trying to sell me a new mattress nowadays. With how much Google knows about me you`d think they`d cap themselves at something like $5 footlongs or stationary.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Chip clips are for quitters.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.