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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
When I ask a girl I like why she and her ex broke up and she says "we just didn`t work out" I already know I have no chance since I hate working out
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.