Daily Silly Status

In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.

If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.

HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T

When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`

I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.

Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".

Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.

If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.

I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.

Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.

It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.

Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.

99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%

My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.