Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
I mean, I don`t even call it a hangover anymore. It`s just morning.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)