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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
My son wants to be a shrink when he grows up... Clearly I`ve failed to teach him our family`s place in the psychiatric process...
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.