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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Obesity: When you buy a hula-hoop and it fits you.
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
why do i feel like you are reading this
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.
One of the biggest decisions when you go to college is whether to join a fraternity or just be an asshole on your own.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.