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I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
Just once...one time; can`t we buy a tree that doesn`t try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, I tell people about my accomplishments and they say "big Deal
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
I`m never free but I`m available.
Being alive is so expensive.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister