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Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.