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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
You look like I need another drink
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..