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Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single f*cking one of them
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.