Daily Silly Status

I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.

I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.

I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.

Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary

Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.

A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.

I may have just inadvertently accomplished something

Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.

Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.

If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`

I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.

I just want you to be happy. And naked.

U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. how many fish do you have?? stop counting smart one fish can`t drown

Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.