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“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.
Apparently I`d rather debate in my mind whether or not to get up and pee than sleep.