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Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
Imagine how out of control drinking would if we didn`t have hangovers
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..