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If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Honk if you are reading this.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"