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the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy