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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!