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Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I