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It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
I`m always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he`ll spare my life when he finally snaps.
I’m not brave. I’m just past the age where running is an option.
I`m just wondering what the employees at the Weather Channel make small talk about.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.