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A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
Jealously is something you’re good at when you suck at everything else.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.