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Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.