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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Iām not always rude. Sometimes Iām sleeping.