Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
The boss said I should let my creative juices flow. What he doesn’t know is that my creative juices are vodka and cranberry.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
How long does it take to get obsessed?
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss.
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.