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Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.