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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.