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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.