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My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.