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Trust me, you want me medicated!!
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
My Doctor says I`m a serious alcoholic, but I think I`m more of a funny alcoholic.
Watching a funny movie after watching a scary one too try to reduce the risk of nightmares.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...