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Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?