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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?