Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Love is when the guy who stocks the liquor knows your name.
When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?