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Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.