Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
2 cops walk into a bar... I don`t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
Never squat with your spurs on
Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
My favorite mythical creature is the happy b*tch in tampon commercials.
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.