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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
What number SPF blocks people?
Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.