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Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....