Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
My support group can outdrink your support group.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.