Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...