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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong