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One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.