Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.