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I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
I saw that! - Karma
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.