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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
Boss: Where`s the progress report I asked u for. Me: I haven`t made any progress, that`s my report! - What I imagine it`d be like if I had a job
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.