Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on