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You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?