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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
I’m bored enough to clean.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.